Trusting

If you keep up with Michael's blog you know what is going on concerning the adoption. When Michael shared the news with me yesterday after he talked to our lawyer, I didn't know what to say. A few tears streamed down my face and then our precious little girl came into the room. I had to pull myself together as to not let on that there was a problem. Kids don't need to be concerned about matters that they can't control. They are too young to handle such news.

I sat for a few minutes feeling kind of numb but also peaceful. I am tempted to explain it by saying that I am just in denial or that I am so used to the ups and downs that I don't respond anymore. Or I can recognize the presence of God in my life. He is the Prince of Peace and dwells inside of me so I can rest in that peace. I have so many lessons to learn and ways to grow in my faith. God is definitely showing me where the deficiencies are. I used to think I was fairly mature in my faith. You know, I am a missionary! Ha! That doesn't always mean that someone has it all together. Through this experience over the last year I can say that I have had more questions for God, doubts about His providence and wondered if He remembers that we are here. Just being honest.

Even though the questions have been numerous, God has never once failed me or left me alone. He is always there to dry my tears, calm my anxieties and cover me with His love. He is faithful even when we are not. He sees and understands everything we face on this earth. How could I doubt that His sovereign plan is the absolute best for my life?

Another day, another phone call. I am praying for the strength to face whatever that call might bring. Whatever decision comes down. Whatever happens...I pray that I will still be able to rest in the Lord's arms.

Thank you all for praying for us.