Me and My friend

Let me tell you about my friend Doreen. We initially met about 3 years ago at church and had chatted every now and then but didn't really get to know each other until about a year and a half ago. It was a Sunday night and Michael was taking Ben and Paulina back to "the place" and Mattie and I were still here at home. I was so overwhelmed with everything and just started crying and crying. I called Michael and told him that I was doing horrible. He comforted me and then hung up the phone.

Not 20 minutes later I get a knock on my door. I opened the door and there stood my sweet friend Doreen. She hugged me and asked how I was doing. I broke down and asked her what she was doing here. She told me a "little bird" might have let her know that I needed to talk to someone. She came in and talked to me for about 2 hours. She let me know that I was normal to be feeling a little overwhelmed becoming a parent to three children all at once.

From that point on, we began meeting every week for coffee. Together we have laughed, cried, prayed, eaten things "off the diet", worked out and just plain have had a good time! About a month and a half ago I had to say goodbye to her and her family as they headed off to the states for 2 months. Michael and I took them to the train station as they first had to journey to Berlin. At the train station, we both began thinking about the fact that we did not have a picture together. Her son, Travis, happened to have his camera and took this picture of us. I will treasure it forever as I do her friendship. She is my true sister in Christ. I will miss her tremendously as our paths diverge.

Doreen, thank you for being a part of this chapter of my life!

Homeward Bound

This week I will begin packing up our things to come home. It is amazing to me still that we are leaving Poland for 10 months. It is still amazing that we are leaving at all! We have been thinking we were going to get to leave for about 6 months now and it hadn't happened. Now it really is happening. The plane tickets are being purchased, the suitcases are being packed, and I am beginning to have those moments of sadness. Yes, sadness.

Hard to believe that I would be getting sad, huh??? We met with our dear friends Lukasz and Asia last night for a goodbye evening. Even though we haven't seen them very often over the last year, they were our ministry partners for several years. We were with them every week. We are still close friends and I will miss them. On Tuesday, our Bible study group will be meeting at our house for the last time. Our friends, the Otrembas, are returning from the states on Wednesday and we will have to say goodbye to them, again.

See what I am getting at? All the friends, familiar places, churches...it isn't easy to turn the next page to a new chapter. Although I am so looking forward to being at home and seeing family and friends it is still going to be hard to say goodbye. As my Aunt Jackie who is a missionary in Chile once told us "The life of a missionary is one of "hellos" and "goodbyes". It is so true.

As we say our goodbyes and pack our suitcases, I can look back at our time in Poznan and say that if God changed no ones life because of me these past years, He has definitely changed mine. I came here three and a half years ago, learned a completely horribly difficult language, made great friends and ministry partners, and grew my family by 3! Not a bad first term, huh???

Trusting

If you keep up with Michael's blog you know what is going on concerning the adoption. When Michael shared the news with me yesterday after he talked to our lawyer, I didn't know what to say. A few tears streamed down my face and then our precious little girl came into the room. I had to pull myself together as to not let on that there was a problem. Kids don't need to be concerned about matters that they can't control. They are too young to handle such news.

I sat for a few minutes feeling kind of numb but also peaceful. I am tempted to explain it by saying that I am just in denial or that I am so used to the ups and downs that I don't respond anymore. Or I can recognize the presence of God in my life. He is the Prince of Peace and dwells inside of me so I can rest in that peace. I have so many lessons to learn and ways to grow in my faith. God is definitely showing me where the deficiencies are. I used to think I was fairly mature in my faith. You know, I am a missionary! Ha! That doesn't always mean that someone has it all together. Through this experience over the last year I can say that I have had more questions for God, doubts about His providence and wondered if He remembers that we are here. Just being honest.

Even though the questions have been numerous, God has never once failed me or left me alone. He is always there to dry my tears, calm my anxieties and cover me with His love. He is faithful even when we are not. He sees and understands everything we face on this earth. How could I doubt that His sovereign plan is the absolute best for my life?

Another day, another phone call. I am praying for the strength to face whatever that call might bring. Whatever decision comes down. Whatever happens...I pray that I will still be able to rest in the Lord's arms.

Thank you all for praying for us.